


reasons to survive

by azu_no_ephemeron



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, i don't know what it is, this fic jumped out of my hands and ran off on its own
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 03:23:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19737310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azu_no_ephemeron/pseuds/azu_no_ephemeron
Summary: Sometime in their second year, amidst the chaos and fighting, Rei and Wataru think about existence.(And maybe hold hands.)





	reasons to survive

**Author's Note:**

> late night existential crisises with ya bois watarei

It's coming up to midnight, and two figures are still perched on the rooftop of Yumenosaki Academy. Hours ago, these two figures had watched as a comrade had sung his heart out, only to be felled nonetheless. The sea is powerful, but even a sea god is weakened on foreign lands. It surprises none of them, but it still hurts. Both the memory and the knowledge. The sea, on the other hand, betrays no emotion, continuing its eternal cycle of crashing and receding on the shore. 

Rei wishes he could be emotionless, like the sea.

"Hey, Rei."

The wind picks up, giving Wataru's hair a life of its own, swirling it around him. It makes his expression hard to see, especially because he isn't looking at Rei. Wataru stares out to the stars and the sea, and his voice now is so unlike his usual one that Rei almost doesn't realize he's speaking.

"Do you ever think... that the universe might not want us here?"

There is no bravado or humor in his tone, no laughter that follows quickly after to say "Just kidding! Was that an Amazing surprise?". Rei realises that this is a Wataru that he's never seen before, or perhaps a Wataru that doesn't show itself to others. 

He also realises that it's a hard question to answer.

"Don't tell me ya actually believe all the crap that people say about us..."

Wataru laughs, now. 

"No, no, this isn't..." He turns to Rei, and pauses. 

As much as he'd like to say otherwise, Wataru's mask isn't impenetrable, and it certainly isn't a gas mask that is able to filter out harmful matter. He might be less affected than Shu or Natsume, but it didn't mean he was immune. His expression softens.

"Well, I suppose that's one thing too. But that's not what I meant."

He goes silent for so long that Rei considers saying something. After a few moments, Wataru answers his unspoken question.

"I meant the whole entire world, all of mankind, existing in the universe."

Rei probably looks like he still doesn't get it, because he doesn't. Wataru continues, but not without taking a moment to laugh at his expression. 

"Humans have evolved a lot to get where we are today." He spreads his arms, and it seems some of his usual dramatic flair is back. "We've overcome lots of odds, and developed so many things to try to survive."

The Yumenosaki Academy roof feels too large for a conversation like this. Especially with no one but the stars to hear them. 

"But what if we aren't really meant to be here?"

Rei shakes his head. "What d'ya mean?"

"Maybe this planet wasn't meant for us to be on." 

Wataru is whispering, as if saying it too loudly will make his words come true. 

"The earth is not a welcoming place. Volcanoes, earthquakes, freezing and burning temperatures that we succumb to if we’re exposed for too long. So many things are designed to kill."

"But like ya just said, we - _humans_ \- developed things t' survive."

Wataru sighs softly.

"Indeed we did... But does it not feel like we sometimes shouldn't have?"

If his voice is any quieter, the wind is going to steal it away, and then Rei will have to chase after it. Which will be difficult.

"... I mean, think about all the harm that humans have done to the planet. Maybe it's trying to remove us, like a body trying to exterminate a virus."

Rei wonders vaguely, again, if this is another extended metaphor for their situation. He should say something, anything. Argue that they're innocent, that it isn't their fault at all that Tenshouin decided they were a virus, that there has to be a reason humans exist on this planet...

But the words refuse to leave his mouth. 

To be honest, though, he does think they're innocent. That the five, sparkling individuals, brought together by what would otherwise be a tragedy, can't be guilty of any of the awful sins that they've been accused of. He's heard their voices, seen their smiles. They're untainted, pretty things, with the exception of himself, and if he could he would accept a stake driven through his heart to protect them from... everything.

But Rei suspects that isn't what Wataru needs to hear. 

Maybe he doesn't need to hear anything at all.

So he slips his left hand into Wataru's right, and joins him at the railing to stare out to sea. Wataru flinches at the contact, but after a moment, leans in to Rei's touch.

They stand there for a while, in silence, as if they are the only two people that exist in the world. The rooftop that felt too wide for them a few moments ago now seems to shrink around them. The only thing that matters is the warmth of Wataru's hand on Rei's, the smell of the sea breeze, the glittering of the stars above them and the sound of their breathing, perfectly in tandem. 

Wataru takes a deep breath. Inhales, and exhales just as loudly. If Rei tries to catch his breath as it's forced out, he might find one of the worries that Wataru has been holding in all this time, even when they are sitting in the secret room playing cards or singing karaoke. 

He doesn't try. 

Wataru speaks anyway, his voice almost restored to its normal singsong tone.

"At the very least, after fighting a virus, the body becomes stronger, right?"

Almost. Rei opts to ignore the faint tremble that he most definitely just heard. 

"Yeah, that's right." 

_That's right._

There's no point in lamenting their fate, or the reason for their circumstances. 

_That's right._

They were never meant to live among humans, anyway.

_That's right._

What he should say instead, is...

"Hell, I'm glad I met you guys."

In what would otherwise have been a tragedy, the fact that they, five wanderers who had never found a place among humans, found each other, can be said to be a miracle.

Wataru smiles again, and it's not a weak or soft smile this time. But it isn't one of his stage smiles either, the kind he throws to the audience as they applaud his flawless performance during a curtain call.

"Maybe that's why we've survived on this planet." 

* * *

Rei turns at that, eyebrow arched in disbelief.

"To find each other? Man, that's cheesy."

"It's not cheesy, it's romantic! Isn't it a beautiful sentiment?" 

"Eeeew..."

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact the lines by wataru about existence are actual thoughts that i had late at night as i was studying geography last year! i decided i wanted to make it into a conversation and somehow watarei took over from there. this is my first fic for enstars so im not super sure about my characterisation!  
> please kudos/ comment if you liked this :D it might have been a mess but it was fun to write and i hope someone?? will like it haha  
> find me @ ephemeral_smile on twitter to scream about watarei!!


End file.
